Yesterday Mama tried to kill me. Twice.
Are you listening?
We went to the place with the big tub again. I like that place, except I don’t like the little room with no windows because there’s nothing fun to do in there. When we got into the big tub, and sang that weird song about the bus and mama made me make the motions. It was a little bit goofy but I played along.
I digress. Mama murder. So I was just floating along in the giant tub, playing with a ducky (I couldn’t find my octopus friend. Disappointing.). That man, Chris, who makes us sing the bus song, he started talking to all the big people. I wasn’t listening very closely, but I heard him say “dunk.” I thought it was weird he was talking about that place where mama gets the big white cup of HOTHOTDON’TTOUCH, but grown ups are weird.
Then, mama put me all the way up to my shoulders in the pool. She was still talking to That Man, asking him a question. Then, suddenly, she blew in my face and tried to kill me. it only lasted a second and I wasn’t sure what had happened. My whole head was all wet, and I think I ate a little bit of the pool. It didn’t taste good, so I choked and spit it out.
Everything seemed fine after that, but a while later she tried to kill me again. Both times when I came up from the water she was yelling “yay!” I’m not sure if it was because she was happy I was alive, or because she had successfully tried to kill me again. The second time, I didn’t eat any of the pool.
Soggy but surviving,